Divorce Ritual in Seattle

There is a mystery and poetry to divorce. There is a part of you that was deep and reverent, romantic  and hopeful at the time of your marriage. You probably planned for months in advance and felt a surge of pleasure at your upcoming wedding ceremony. 

The ending of a marriage can have equally as much resonance and mystery.  Divorce is a soulful transition that squeezes your insides and reminds you of the depth of your being. 

Sometimes the grief is severe during divorce.  Your emotions can run rampant.  Sometimes the legal aspects of divorce fail to honor the deeper processes at play in your heart and psychic.   Sometimes the answers you need come from poetry and metaphor. Sometimes the only way to successfully move past your break up is to acknowledge a well spring of hurt, or to purposely plant some hopes for the future. 

Divorce ceremonies and rituals can bridge the gap between heart ache and new hopes.  Ceremony and ritual has been used by people in distress for centuries. Its an age old cure for the woes that we feel during tremendous transitions. 

You started your marriage in a lovely way;  ceremony and ritual can help you conclude in a equally gracious way.  I invite you to this mystery.  Your legal divorce doesn't have to be desolate. We can craft something more meaningful to recognize the impact of such a major shift.  Welcome to the softer side of Lawlady, Inc. 

Divorce ritual is acknowledging the deepest mysteries that rise to the surface when we transform a relationship through dissolution. Divorce ritual harnesses the awesome power of change for our betterment and growth. Divorce ritual calls forth our greatest potential: to act with dignity, compassion, and courage in the face of fear of the unknown.

Divorce ritual is not about indulging in your grief or victimhood. But it can be about coming together with friends to share stories about your marriage or to publicly face the truth about your current situation. Divorce rituals can be a series of small acts that you do daily to bring honor to your present bleak situation, or it can be a festive, big event where you invite guests and perform a series of meaningful activities to heighten your focus to the divorce experience and all the attendant emotions it conjures up.

One of my clients did her divorce ceremony at Golden Gardens. After her divorce was final, she went with friends to the beach, where she built an alter of gifts from her friends and objects from her marriage, like her wedding photo. She read her wedding vows and released herself from this sacred contract. Later she burned her original wedding photo. People spoke about their memories of the marriage, both good and bad. She was smudged with sage before going for a cleansing dip, signifying rejuvenation, in the cold Puget Sound. Later she hosted lunch at Ray's Boathouse for her friends similar to sharing a meal for a holiday. This is only one style of ritual.  Other people do things more quietly. 

Ritual can be conducted in the Christian faith with the same formality as your wedding, or be performed alone. Ritual is about bringing your entire psyche to the process of transformation. It's a healing tool used by cultures across the world for centuries.

Ceremony and ritual that facilitates integration at a time of change often include the following elements:

• Sacred timing.
• Sacred place.
• Elements of nature.
• Objects representative of your former life or the new life you desire.
• Photos or writings.
• An activity such as making music, writing, speaking, storytelling.
• Attendees or guests.
• Sensual elements, such as gorgeous flowers, incense, poetry, scripture.
• Special clothing.
• Acts of cleansing like a swim in a lake, a scented bath, burning of an object.
• Centering events such as meditation, sounding a chime, or ringing a bell.
• Variation of rhythm or pace, as in speaking slower than normal to appreciate the words at a deeper level.
• A preparatory phase to open the event, followed by a closing phase to signify a return to normal life.

Ritual is about inviting the Divine into your divorce experience. For people who invited God to the wedding, doesn't it make sense to ask God to your divorce?

I love discussing this important aspect of divorce. I wish for you the blessings that come from facing your dissolution with an open heart and acceptance.  Please ask me for information about divorce ceremony.